L to R: Honey La Fleur’s toe shoes; Scarlett D’Evil practices her splits; Plucky Rosenthal was sad because all of the sweet potato fries were gone; Finch lends a hand with corset tightening; Jolie’s costume details (gorgeous!) Blurry Faustina

Man, last night was FUN! I love that show at Uncommon Ground. It’s just always such a good time–the venue is great, the dressing area is large and comfortable and the place provides free wine and delicious food from their menu for the performers. Gotta love craft service.

I was a tweeting fool last night. I took all kinds of photos backstage and posted them as we went. Totally fun. (See above)

Yesterday was a total blockbuster. I made a new banner for this site (yay! I love it.), went to teach beginner class, then picked up E and Aunty Onion (my BFF and her boyfriend) so we could walk around the Lakewood Balmoral garage sale day (there’s a weekend every year where the whole hood has a million and twelve garage sales, then we went to one of T’s eight million gay boyfriends’ houses for a BBQ and then I headed out for the showAt the garage sales, I encountered some lovely old gals who were selling vintage hats. They had a metric ton of them and when I told them that I performed burlesque, they wrote down all of the information excitedly and said that they’d try to come out and see a show. Adorable. I scored a large black straw hat (at left) from them and a home-sewn wool tweed pencil skirt (also at left) from another house. (And yet another jean skirt. I love jean skirts.)

Today is going to be another busy one. We’re going to another of the gays’ houses for brunch–we got some champers and some locally-made ginger liqueur to bring (literally. It was made a few blocks from here. You can go volunteer for them and I think I might look into it)–and then we’re off to Renegade Craft Fair in Wicker Park. After that, we do the Joie de Vine show tonight. Phew. It was not a very relaxing weekend, but it was activity-rich. I am looking forward to next weekend, with its mere ONE show.

This week should be fun. I am meeting with a pile of guest stars for the show that I’m putting together that I will announce very soon. It’s going to be an amazing one. I’ve put out a call for set designers and I’m going to pull in a costume designer soon. And the main ensemble is all lined up and locked down. I have a few more calls to make about guest stars, but the ensemble lineup is incredible.

This week I am also going to work on PR. I’ve been a little lax about it since Naked July and it’s time to step it back up. We’re also going to start looking for Board Members. In case I didn’t mention it here, we got our Illinois non-profit status in July and we’re going to work on the 501(c)(3) soon. That’s right, Girlie-Q has become its own good cause! It’s about time, really. I’ve been doing this for about six years now and it’s officially time for officialness.

All right, I need to jump now. I have to go get pretty for the Gays (PastryChef is making brunch for MainGay’s birthday, which is today.)

xox, Ms. Bea Haven

New costume, coming soon. (See below and thanks to the Lady Miss Vagina Jenkins for the dress.)

All righty.

I’ve been severely neglecting my blog here for a while. To get back in the practice of daily writing (and to prepare for this year’s round of NaNoWriMo, which I plan to do in November again this year), I’m going to write once a day for the next few weeks.

So away we go…

Fabric obsession!

Before I launch into this morning’s narrative, I just have to mention a few upcoming events…Very excited about tonight’s show at Uncommon Ground. We’re doing our monthly classic burlesque show, Le Cabaret Erotique (named for the Dirty Sanchez song “F*cking on the Dance Floor”…The lyrics “…your erotic cabaret is non-stop” make me giggle and it’s always classier to say something in a foreign language.) Show starts at 11pm and it’s gonna be good. Also, we have our weekly show, Salon DeVine at Joie de Vine tomorrow at 8 and 9:30. This month features Honey La Fleur, Jolie, Bizarre Sally and yours truly in a mix of neo-burlesque and performance art (and of course, sexy stripteases on the bartop, in the aisles and everywhere we feel like performing!). Both shows are always free, though we do have a $15 suggested donation for tonight’s show.

Also! The next session of classes starts on Saturday, October 2. Beginning class will still be held at Galaxie Chicago in their BIG, BEAUTIFUL studios and Burlesque for Performance (the advanced class) is moving to Belle Plaine Studio, near Irving and Damen. It’s going to meet twice a week and be geared towards a recital in SIX WEEKS. It’s a true immersion experience, so if you want to get into burlesque in a big way really quickly, sign up! You will be onstage with an amazing jaw-dropping act that suits your personality and personal style by Thanksgiving.

Blue fringe

I’m really excited about developing a new act for Varietease in October. The act is top secret, but I’m going to start working on the costume and a large set piece really soon. I shot a few photos of the raw materials for the costume and I’m psyched to get going on it.

Each of these materials was an adventure in procurement. The bit of sequinned fabric I found during a trip to my favorite fabric store in Chicago. It was sitting on a

Sequin Appliques

shelf in this dirty, hot, dingy basement and I picked it up. I didn’t really have a project in mind for it and during that visit, I was like, “Oh, I am never gonna use this! I don’t want to waste money.” so I set it back down on the shelf.

The I thought about it and thought about it and obsessed over it and obsessed over it. For two months. I am sure I even dreamt about a piece that I might develop that would involve the fabric.

The next time I was there, I made a beeline for the basement and…It was STILL THERE. That time, I decided it was complete fate that the fabric should be mine and I snatched it up. Still no project in mind, but I knew it would come in handy some day. Then I went to Atlanta for Mondo Homo. While I was there, Vagina Jenkins was getting rid of a few things, INCLUDING a gorgeous beaded dress in…(dingdingding!) the same color family. It was starting to come together.

Ms. Bea Haven outside the Stonewall Inn

Teal Fringe

Enter teal bra and 100 pieces of sequinned appliques from my OTHER favorite fabric store in Evanston, IL, just north of the City and where I grew up. This had both a teal color and dark blue. Then I went online to find beaded fringe to match all of these things. I ordered it from EGYPT–this was when I started feeling all cool and international. The paypal bill came in when were in NYC and I paid for it via Paypal on my smart phone while sitting in the historic Stonewall Inn with my partner T. It arrived at my place of work the day I got back from vacation.

I felt like, “Whoa, what a brave new incredibly small and shrinking world we live in. I can purchase something from Egypt, pay for it on my phone, and have it shipped internationally and arrive three days later.” It was cool.

So now all that remains is to build the huge set piece I’m planning and make the actual costume. I’m planning on working on it over the next month. Will keep you posted here.

Back to the feature: Chris Crocker must be my new hero, because I have watched this at least ten times over the last week.

So, in honor of NYC, for Video Friday this week, I am visiting my favorite (FAVORITE) opening sequence of a movie about NYC, Woody Allen’s Manhattan, which is probably my favorite movie of his. (Yes, even more than Annie Hall. Sorry, Underdog.)

Enjoy!

Bad Ms. Bea, Bad!

So, it’s been a great few weeks. We finished up our run at National Pasttime, which was totally, completely fun. The show was very tight by the end, my fellow performers were amazing, and the space, well, it was interesting being there. I really loved the double-level-ness of the set, which allowed for us to play with taking burlesque up and down stairs. And I also loved the vintage feel in there and the fact that it’s definitely haunted. Crazy times, crazy times.

In other news, we’re having a meeting this week of our “ensemble” (such as it is) to determine the next show. I can’t say too much yet, but I’m really excited about it. It’s gonna big big, kittens. Big. I’m also psyched because I just booked myself for a huge Halloween show. I’m working on a new piece for it and it’s gonna be cool. I’m excited to work on something new and start pulling together a big costume and props. Awesomeness.

Pause to dig through giant-pile-of-crap-on-my-desk

Today, man, it’s one of the gorgeous days that makes you super happy to live in the Midwest. I always love the beginning of fall slash end of summer time when it’s nice and cool, but still pleasantly sunny and perfect. It’s just one of those days. I’m psyched to go teach my class and then run errands in such gorgeous weather. Makes me happy to leave the house.

Tonight, if the weather holds out with it’s gorgeousness, me and T are going to go see this performance piece at Navy Pier. It looks AMAZING. It’s called Water Fools (Fous de Bassin) and it’s a French company’s staging of a performance that’s on the lake. I’m not quite sure how that works, but it’s being described as “Cirque de Soliel on the sea”. Cool.

All right. Since I forgot completely to post a video for Video Friday, here goes. This week, I found the “literal video” phenome on YouTube. It’s when someone remakes a video with new lyrics to the song to reflect the whack crap that is going on in the video itself. It’s hilarious and for your viewing pleasure, here is “Total Eclipse of the Heart“.

Here’s a classic and hilarious fan dance from Nasty Canasta in NYC:

I spent my teen years looking for my Duckie Doyle. (I think that Special Lady T sort of favors his style, if not the hairdo.) Turn this up–the clip is QUIET.

It’s raining here today, and I think I know why.  If you want to celebrate a real Chicago icon, come out to the Galaxie tomorrow at 12:30.  We’re doing an all-John-Hughes-film-soundtrack day in burlesque class.  Come dance to some amazing (Seriously.  AMAZING) new wave and rock from the 80’s, learn a few sexy moves, and give Mr. Hughes the send-off he deserves.

In other news…

Did you miss the Girlie-Q Variety Hour at Naked July?  Well, never fear, because there is ample opportunity to see the Girlie-Qs every Sunday at Joie De Vine’s bartop burlesque with our classy, sassy flavor.  (It’s not to be missed!) and even learn a step or two for yourself with Ms. Bea’s Art of Burlesque Classes, back at Galaxie Chicago!  Come out and see us sometime.

THIS WEEK
Beginning Burlesque Class
Saturday at 12:30,
Galaxie Chicago, 2603 W. Barry
(Corner of Rockwell & Barry)
$15/class, all are welcome

Wardrobe for this week: Bras, Panties and Gloves
This week’s tune-age: Music from John Hughes soundtracks

Interested in burlesque, but you’re not quite ready to jump off into the deep end into public performance? Then try this basic how-to class that combines a great workout with mini-routines aimed at having fun, finding your “sexy place”, and getting in shape. Each two to three week period, we will work the removal of one item of clothing (gloves, bras, boy shorts, dresses) or play with a prop (canes, small fans, chairs). There is no nudity in this class.

Sunday, August 9
(EVERY SUNDAY, BUNNIES!)
8pm and 9:30pm
Girlie-Q Presents: Salon de Vine
Joie de Vine, 1744 W. Balmoral @ Ravenswood
No Cover
Presenting Girlie-Q’s rotating cast of hotties in a bar revue in one of Chicago’s most intimate spaces.  Come and sample fine wines and handcrafted cocktails, enjoy glamorous queer burlesque performance, and revel in the beauty of one of Andersonville’s hidden gems.  This week stars: Cruel Valentine, the Girlie-Q return of former ensemble member Oosha Boom (who’s been living in ALASKA, peeps!), Tribal Bellydancer Jolie and Ms. Bea Haven.  No cover, huge outdoor patio, HUGE wine list, free parking, located three blocks west of Clark Street on Balmoral.

NEXT WEEKEND
Saturday, August 15 (NEW DATE) @ 11pm
Le Cabaret Erotique
Uncommon Ground
1401 W. Devon
$15 suggested donation
(Nobody turned away for lack of funds)
Come and watch Girlie-Q do “classic with a twist” in the prettiest and classiest room in town. Featuring Chicago’s queerest cast of burlesque hotties, a unique variety of acts, and a carefully curated show, you will be dazzled, enchanted, and definitely entertained.

Starring: The Amazing, Bendable Posable Dolls of Doom (Lola Martinet & Tila von Twirl), Honey La Fleur, Tribal Bellydancer Jolie, Plucky Rosenthal, Scarlett D’Evil and the Putterbaugh Sisters!

This is burlesque the way your grandma saw it–gorgeous nightclub atmosphere, leather banquettes, a full cocktail menu with fine spirits & classic cocktails and a dinner menu made of the finest locally-grown organic ingredients. Come early for dinner; stay late (11:30 pm start time) for the show.

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven
The Great Chicago Fire

P.S.  Looking for something to do TONIGHT!? Check out the latest Ms. Bea’s must-see: The Flesh Hungry Dog Show!

Friday, August 7, 2009, 9 p.m.
Jackhammer, 6406 N. Clark St.
Presenting a decadent night of rock and burlesque fun with 8 Inch Betsy, Super Happy Fun Time Burlesque, and The Cathy Santonies. The show also features “The Bag of Fun” prize giveaways from The Pleasure Chest  DJ Sky spins between the bands, and Chicago rock impresario Gary Airedale hosts.

The idea came to me the other day, when a person I don’t know very well said something terrible about me. I gave it some thought, started to feel broken up about it, and then I realized: I know perfectly well all of the things I don’t like about myself. So why are other people are only too happy to volunteer what they don’t like about me? Hating yourself should be passe by now, something as 1997 as brown corduroys, so why is self-loathing still en vogue? Loathing yourself makes it just that much easier to hate other people. Especially other women. Hating yourself is easy; what would truly be subversive and challenging is admitting to loving things about yourself.

So, I decided I would write a love letter to myself and publish it on my blog. I am nervous because it is a difficult task, and one that makes you vulnerable to attack. The moment you admit to loving something about yourself, you are subject to the animus of others who may want to take you down a notch. We, as female-bodied people, are not typically taught to love ourselves. We are taught to demur when given compliments, to write them off with a laugh and never absorb their true meaning. We put ourselves down for the sake of making others feel better about themselves. Admitting to loving things about yourself is egotistical, the cardinal sin of “femininity.” But what if we could articulate those things? And even more so, what if we could support other female-bodied people in doing so?

So, here goes. I am going to edit a poem I started writing a few years ago during the last breakup I had before Special Lady T popped onto the scene. As I recall, it was with La Carpentiere–who I actually SAW last week in Th’ville. Small world–and I was feeling like she was an idiot for dumping me and was trying to define myself.

Love, Me

I love solid. Midwestern
serious work ethic; I love doing
what you love as long as
what you love pays
the bills. Sometimes
you have to suck it up.
The crops must be sown.

I love salt of the earth
no airs about anyone
Or when airs are put on
airs, I love the laughter
that follows–from the gut.

I love being balls out
and the beauty of solitude and privacy.
Hiding and revealing
like a morning glory
innermost stamen thrust
to the sun on brightest days.

I love comedy and tragedy
rolled into one. Emotions
fleeting like clouds on
an overcast day. I love overcoming,
I love persevering, I love
laughing at myself.

I love romance and
old-fashioned ways–doors being opened
satin and pumps,
and manners. Yes, manners.
It’s important to be polite.

I love close families.
Cousins and kids running ramshod
through the house. Loud volume, chaotic.

I love the power of generations:
a German hat with a thousand pins on it,
a volume of Irish folktales,
a Celtic knot painted on the ceiling of the
oldest Catholic parish in town.

I love coming from women
five sisters, grandmothers, aunts,
small girl cousins–we rule the roost.
My family: mostly mom and sister
for years no men, only my brother
feminist; how to treat women drilled into
his thick head.

I love capable.
Working hard not
hardly working, I can
handle most of what
gets thrown my way.

And I love sensitive. I
love listening, even when it’s
hard. Leaving emotions checked;
I can hear most things,
recover. Empathize.

Love, Me. I love
me: a million contradictions
complexity, emotions,
depth, humor, beauty.

OK, that was very hard to write. I’m going to go back and do some edits over lunch…I’m really worried about putting myself out there like this. But I guess we shall see what comes of it.

Here’s the list of other gals doing this project:
This is Where I Write – http://rantsnotdrugs.blogspot.com/
Twenty Twenty Hindsight – http://twentytwentyhindsight.com/
Rollertrain – http://rollertrain.tumblr.com/
Fluid Pusher – http://fluidpusher.blogspot.com/
Cherry Bomb – http://www.cherrybombnyc.com