Dearest Kats and Kittens,

In honor of Girlie-Q blogger boypal, Darlin’ O’Doyle, I have decided to not bury the lead today…So, without further ado, our big announcement:  Girlie-Q will be featured at this June’s Milwaukee Pride Festival!  On Sunday, June 13, you can see our Biggest, Gayest Show Ever!! onstage at the largest queer arts festival in the country.  Sweet.  Get a hold of your friends in Wisconsin, pack your cheese hats and join us!

Locally, we have more shows than you can shake a stick at (and we know how you all love to shake your sticks, dollies), so please read on and JOIN US at one of these fine upcoming events.  (Just added: A completely FREE Oscar Night Extravaganza at Joie De Vine.  Skip to the end if you wanna read about that first.)

SHOWS
Friday, March 5, 9:30 pm
The Flesh Hungry Dog Show
Jackhammer, 6406 N. Clark Street
$10, 21 and up
Join irrepressible host Gary Airedale, DJ Sky, and bands 8 Inch Betsy and The Athens Boys Choir for an evening of rock n’ performance.  Girlie-Q provides the intermission entertainments post-Bag-of-Fun!

Sunday, March 7, 7:00 pm
Girlie-Q’s Ginormous Oscar Party Deluxe! or “Let’s Go to the Movies!”
Joie de Vine
1744 W. Balmoral
Dress to impress (red-carpet-worthy)
Completely, Absolutely Free

Starring yours truly and a star-studded cast of Girlie-Q favorites, Girlie-Q will deconstruct the silver screen for your enjoyment.  Bartop, aisle and small stage strip-teasers, performance art and variety entertainments will be unveiled for your viewing pleasures during commercials and the boring parts of everyone’s favorite Hollywood awards show.  (Scientific and Technical Awards, anyone?)

We will give away fabulous prizes for the best dressed and offer a special “what was she thinking?!” award for the most confusing outfit.  Drink specials will include $8 “Ms.-Bea-Sized” (large, pretties, LARGE) martinis.

This is gonna be the best (and definitely free-est) Oscar party in town!  Join us!

RECITAL
Sunday, March 14
7pm Doors, 7:30pm Show
Ms. Bea Haven’s School For Wayward Girls
Graduation Show
$5 suggestion donation

Come and see the inaugural performances of the latest crop of students in Ms. Bea’s advanced burlesque class.  Introducing, for the first time on any Chicago burlesque stage:
Jiggles O’Lafferty, Mena La Vey, Titty Perkins, and Millie May!

AUDITIONS
Saturday, February 27, 2:00 – 4:00 pm
Saturday, March 7, 12:00 – 2:00 pm

Join the revitalized Girlie-Q Ensemble and get the chance to perform regularly with one of Chicago’s oldest, most prestigious burlesque & variety companies.  We are expanding our focus from a strictly queer ensemble to include any performer who is interested in camp, comedy, political & high quality performance art of all kinds.

These auditions welcome any type of act.  We are not just looking for burlesque artists this time around, but any expression of performance in any genre.  Just make sure your act is high-quality, tight, and well-rehearsed.  Come and show us what you can do.

These are not open auditions, you must have a time slot to attend.  Sign up here

CLASSES & WORKSHOPS
Beginning Burlesque with Ms. Bea Haven
12:00 – 1:00 pm (NEW TIME!)
New series starts March 13
Rast Ballet, 1803 W. Byron, Suite 201
$15/Class

This week’s songs:  Runaround Sue (Shimmy Dance with cardigans, pencil skirts & belts)

Last week!  Then we’re taking a one week break and starting right up again.

Interested in burlesque, but you’re not quite ready to jump off into the deep end into public performance? Then try this basic how-to class that combines a great workout with mini-routines aimed at having fun, finding your “sexy place”, and getting in shape. Each two to three week period, we will work the removal of one item of clothing (gloves, bras, boy shorts, dresses) or play with a prop (canes, small fans, chairs). There is no nudity in this class.   Hope to see you soon!

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven
Public Femme-nist #1

Upcoming Dates
Wednesday, March 24:  The Breast Show Ever! @ Mary’s Attic (a benefit for LCCP and Bright Pink)
Friday, April 2: Flesh Hungry Dog Show’s 5th Anniversary Party @ Jackhammer
Sunday, April 11:  The Freak Museum @ Mary’s Attic
Saturday, May 1:  the return of The Girlie-Q Variety Hour, our classic burlesque and vaudeville show
Sunday, June 13: Girlie-Q at the Milwaukee Pride Festival

Dearest Sweethearts,

Just writing to let you know that Girlie-Q is back from break and we have a whole sackful of valentines for you this year!  Read on…

SHOWS
Friday, February 5, 9:00 pm
Flesh Hungry Dog Show
Jackhammer
6406 N. Clark Street
$10, 21 and up

Join me and Scarlett DeVille as the halftime entertainment at this showcase of queer singer-songwriters.  Hosted by the irrepressible Gary Airedale and with music by hot, hot DJ Sky, this month’s installment features Katie Todd, Dylan Rice and Jen Porter.

Thursday, February 11, 7:00 pm
For the Love of Guilty Pleasures
Mary’s Attic
5400 N. Clark Street
$10 in advance, $15 at the door
21 and up

Secret code for my loyal fans! If you buy in advance and enter this code into Brown Paper tickets, you can get $3 off admission!  Secret code: xox, Ms. Bea Haven

Join me and Mr. Dago T as we host a cast of characters in a tribute to love songs you love to hate.  Featuring sexy strip-tease performances by: Candyland, Cruel Valentine, Ms. Ellie Noise, Honey La Fleur, Sultry Susan, Trixie Sparx, Justin Syder, Scarlett D’Evil, and more! 

Friday, February 19 and Saturday, February 20
Midnight
Live! Rude! Girls! (In the Dark Performance Series)
1901 Gallery
1901 W. Belmont (Entrance on Wolcott)
$15 donation, BYOB

Come to the 1901 Gallery for their monthly gothic dance and performance art series featuring Chicago’s most sultry and edgy burlesque performers, performance artists, and dancers.  This month’s show features performers such as Ms. Vine, Dollface, Ellie Noise, Ammunition, and Girlie-Q regular Honey La Fleur.

I will be unveiling a brand new piece that you will have to see to believe.  Sexy, heartbreaking, incredibly visual, and steeped in performance art aesthetics (with sculptural set pieces), it will be a sight to behold.  Don’t miss it!

Also, keep your eyes peeled on your in-box for some amazing upcoming shows and events…We’ve got some exciting things in the works, including an advanced student recital, a collaboration with some very exciting and talented performance artists, our regular show at Joie de Vine (February 28) and a benefit event for LCCP and Bright Pink!

CLASSES & WORKSHOPS
Beginning Burlesque with Ms. Bea Haven
12:00 – 1:00 pm (NEW TIME!)
Till February 27
New series starts March 13
Rast Ballet, 1803 W. Byron, Suite 201
$15/Class

Yes, we’re still going…And it’s never too late to jump in!

Interested in burlesque, but you’re not quite ready to jump off into the deep end into public performance? Then try this basic how-to class that combines a great workout with mini-routines aimed at having fun, finding your “sexy place”, and getting in shape. Each two to three week period, we will work the removal of one item of clothing (gloves, bras, boy shorts, dresses) or play with a prop (canes, small fans, chairs). There is no nudity in this class.   Hope to see you soon!

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven
The Great Chicago Fire

Note to self: Christmas AND sparkly boobs?  How can we lose?

But the tech last night was so smooth and seamless, I could barely believe it.  It was probably the most fun I’ve had in the last few months because it was so engaging and awesome.  I can barely describe how lucky I feel that I am able to take time off and really engage in what I am passionate about.  It’s been a long time coming, but I can finally see the forest in the trees.  And know what?  It’s beautiful.

There is still so much to do, but there are four whole (day-job-free) days to do it in.  Yesterday, I took the set designer to the Textile Discount Outlet, someplace near the Ohio off ramp (right up the street from my podiatrist where I got the P.T. on my heels last summer) for fake snow, and then Menards, which is the epicenter of light-up Christmas crapola.  Today, we’re headed to Metro Sales on Montrose–home of cheap crafts supplies, faux branches, and glitter–and then it’s back here to continue editing video footage for the show and another tech rehearsal tonight.

OK.  Better get to the gym.  I’m trying to keep my commitment to myself to go there every day while I’m off work to get back in the habit.  I am extremely resistant to that idea at the moment (because there is SO MUCH TO DO) but I think it will help manage my stress level.

Exes and ohs (as my darling friend Vag would say),
Ms. Bea Haven

Today, I choose
detail work
of the banal
variety.

Not to say it’s not
Important
but it just weighs less
than so much more.

Sidenote/reminder to self: Call your Aunt Betsi.

I was talking to my therapist (yeah, yeah, back in therapy.  My therapist is an effing genius) the other day and we were discussing the concept of bringing your “best self” to things that you’re doing.  It was a good concept for me to remember.  I can get really stressed out and feel overloaded, but when I am mindful of the best self idea, it all seems easier.

Speaking of easy, the other night was fun.  I took a night off from preparing for this show and had dinner with E and Aunty Onion.  It was so great to see them.  I hadn’t spent any time with E for the last two months.  She made “breakfast for dinner” and we all caught up.  (Sidenote about the potatoes that she made–Oh man, I woke up craving them yesterday AM and I still feel like if I had them for breakfast today, I might not be able to get them into my mouth fast enough.  So delicious.)  After that, I made a bad decision to go out with my friends the “Partybaughs” and drink a lot of beer and do Mary-Oke.  (Karaoke at Mary’s Attic).  It was fun, but regrettable yesterday at work and rehearsal.

I-Tunes note (from putting music with the word “highway” on shuffle–I was listening to tracks from E’s brother’s old radio show Forgotten Highway):  A really weird remixed version of “Ventura Highway” just popped on.  It is amazing and strange.  I’ve been working on getting all of T’s CDs loaded into my I-Tunes and this is from that effort.  It reminds me of the remix that my friend MarMar made of Dust in the Wind a few years back.  Alligator lizards in the air.  Word.

And speaking of rehearsals–Last night’s rehearsal was so great–It’s nice to finally see the show getting into performance shape.  There’s still a lot to do, but I have no doubts now about the fact that we will launch an adorable and funny holiday show next week.  It’s a really charming piece with just enough weird thrown in to keep it interesting.  I’m really proud of it and I’m extremely jazzed about the talented people I am working with.  (Back to the grateful feeling) From the scriptwriter who churned out hilarious dialogue in what seemed like a half-second to the spot-on physical comedy of Special K and the Fairy Craigster to the crack team of sexy stagehands and the relieving, calming presence of Finchy…It’s all wondrous and fantastic.

All right, I have to get back to the never-ending whirlwind I call my life. I will leave you with the lyrics that I wrote last night (in about five minutes.  Praise the sweet baby jesus for my ability to crank crap out when I have to) for our finale.  It’s a parody song to the tune of “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing”.

Hark! The Fairy Craigster sings!
Special K learned lots of things
About herself and Christmas spirit
Holidays here, no need to fear (it).

Joyful all performers rise
sing K’s triumph of surprise
That she found herself today
In the Fairy Craigster way

Hark! The Fairy Craigster sings!
Special K learned lots of things!

Have lovely weekends, kittens.  See you tomorrow night at Mary’s Attic and a week from today (GULP) at the Theatre Building.

So, this morning, someone posted something on my Facebook–yes, this is going to be one of those meta discussions where the virtual discussion on Facebook provides a platform for deep thoughts from Ms. Bea at 7am–and I wanted to respond. I responded a little bit on the FB, but this is a topic that comes up quite a bit and is good fodder for discussion.

So, yesterday, I got contacted by a friend of a friend who’s booking some entertainment for the holidays. Awesome. I love corporate gigs, because they often mean good money, great craft service, and really appreciative audiences (who don’t spend their whole time drinking Miller Lite and discussing the Bears. Cough. But I malign my sisters…). Anyway, the gist was that this was a men’s club of lawyers (warning bells) who wanted to know if such a thing as “comedy strippers” existed (red flag!) and if so, could I find some to perform at their mens’ club gathering? Last year, they hired comedians and it was a hit.

Now, I can only assume that the conversation leading up to “Do comedy strippers even exist?” went something like this:

Attorney 1: Man, those comedians last year were FUNNY. Let’s do that again.

Attorney 2: Yeah, but Chip was saying we should get strippers.

Attorney 3: Wait, dudes, what if there was such a thing as a COMEDY STRIPPER?!

All (muffled crowd noises): Oh yeah, good idea. Skip, you’re a genius! Totally. Sexy AND funny! Dude! Hot and hilarious!

I politely told the guy that if he was looking for striptease (ala vintage style) with a campy, hilarious flavor that we could definitely bring them a great show. I know a lot of gals who are pretty hilarious and do the striptease. However, if they were looking for people who fit a generally mainstream stripper aesthetic, we were definitely not their girls. We tend to have a more “alternative” look and are not all skinny, blonde, and large-breasted. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if that was the look they wanted, we were not it. But I said that we are hilarious and we are extremely sexy.

Then I posted on Facebook that I am not a comedy stripper, just to see what kind of response I got.

One of the responses (actually two, one responding to the other) got me thinking again about this idea of burlesque/sex work/stripping. On one hand, there is the argument that burlesque is not sex work because it does not “denigrate” the woman–as though all sex workers are somehow “lower” than women who would choose burlesque. On another, we are all getting naked it in the end, so what’s the dif? And then there’s the concept (not so popular in mainstream society) that there is such a thing as a woman who chooses sex work because it pays a lot of money and who has agency in her choices.

Either way, it comes down to class. I believe that people who think that burlesque is not sex work or not stripping (if you don’t want to call stripping sex work) have some kind of unexamined classism at work. There’s no doubt that the style of burlesque differs from the style of modern stripping. And there’s no doubt that the theatrics are different–one’s more obvious than the other. But there’s also no doubt that burlesque is the great auntie of modern stripping. When the striptease evolved, burlesque performers were not modern performance art practitioners dabbling in a “naughty art form” for tits and giggles. They were, as strippers are today, considered a “base” form of entertainment.

I really think that modern burlesque performers who try to draw a distinction between themselves and strippers are attempting to 1) justify their work to a middle class audience that thinks that taking off your clothes is shameful; 2) trying to distance themselves from women who strip for a living because they see those women as “lower” than themselves and 3) trying to pull the idea of burlesque into the real of “legitimate” entertainment, as though it’s not already there. This argument almost always comes from a defensive place on the part of the dancer and it is really popular with the press.

Whenever the question comes up for me, I liken it to a front of the hand/back of the hand thing. Neither could exist without the other. I try to educate members of the press, especially (since we have a really well-known J-school just north of us) to the younger cadre that love to write about us. I always say that burlesque differs from stripping in a few ways, but I would never say that one is “better” than the other or malign a stripper for choosing that form.

Yes, it is true that the styles differ greatly–in setting, costume, makeup, movement and choice of music. The production values are generally more slick in a stripping establishment and more hown-grown in a burlesque context. Audiences are probably different, in that more women tend to come to burlesque shows.

But audiences expect one thing that runs through all of this: nudity. You can’t call either thing by its name without that expectation being fulfilled.

Dearest Kats and Kittens,

Before I launch into the MOST EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE SEASON (yes, my journo friends would say that I am “burying the lead”, here) I want to remind you that the fall session of burlesque classes wraps up this week at Rast Ballet. We than head right into the next session, with a brief special break for a workhsop with the Lady Miss Vagina Jenkins.

CLASSES
Saturdays, October 3 – November 7; November 14 – December 19 (No class on December 12), 12:30 – 2:00 pm
Beginning Burlesque
Rast Ballet, 1803 W. Byron, Suite 201
$15/class or $70 for the whole session

SPECIAL WORKSHOP

The Lady Miss Vagina Jenkins

The Holy Trinity: Fans, Gloves and Panel Skirts with the Lady Miss Vagina Jenkins, Atlanta’s “Best Burlesque Dancer”
Saturday, December 12
12:00 – 2:00 pm
Rast Ballet, 1803 W. Byron, Suite 201
$20-$30 (sliding scale)
Sliding Scale at the door

Vagina Jenkins, Atlanta’s “Best Burlesque Dancer”, teaches you how to work with 3 of the most often used striptease props; gloves, fans and panel skirts. This class is for everyone from novice to experienced ecdysiast. Learn exciting new glove peels and tricks, basic fan dance moves executed with grace and panel skirt moves that will set your performance apart from the average bump and grind.

Wanted to take a class before but couldn’t decide which one? Then take “The Holy Trinity” and learn 3 classes worth of information in an hour an a half. This class is intensive, so please be on time, so we can devote as much time to each segment as possible. Bring your gloves, fans or panel skirts if you have them, if not Vag has lots to share!

* * *

And now *drumroll, please* for the most exciting announcement of the year…

I am pleased to officially announce that tickets for our first annual holiday show, Delight Before Christmas, are on sale now at Ticketmaster. This is an original production that includes some of the most exciting performers from the queer burlesque, variety performance and performance art scenes both locally an nationally. Read on…

Delight Before Christmas, November 27 - December 19, Theatre Building Chicago

Delight Before Christmas
Thursdays, Fridays & Saturdays at 8:30 pm
November 27 – December 19
Theatre Building Chicago
1225 W. Belmont
$15 – $20
Tickets available on Ticketmaster

Delight Before Christmas incorporates a stunning variety of classic burlesque, modern dance, variety acts, and performance art to tell the story of a hopeless Fox News intern who posts a sad message on Craigslist and then is led on a sexy, magical quest by the Fairy Craigster to find the true meaning of the season. Along the journey, they encounter a gender-bending gang of burlesque and variety performers who each express the meaning of the season in their own unique and titillating ways.

One part Baz Luhrmann and one part Dickens, with a dash of 1940’s & 1970’s holiday claymation and a heaping tablespoon of Bing Crosby & Howard Hawkes, combined in a cocktail shaker with several shots naked ladies, boylesque dancers, jugglers, drag and butoh performers, and all the ingredients for a flaming rum punch, Delight Before Christmas goes behind the glittery holiday facade, exploring the agony and ecstasy of the season, with an ending wrapped in a sparkling bow.

UNTIL THE HOLIDAY SHOW, GO SEE…
Sunday, November 9 (And every Sunday!)
Shows at 8 and 9:30pm
Salon DeVine
Joie de Vine, 1744 W. Balmoral @ Ravenswood
No cover

Presenting Girlie-Q’s rotating cast in a sexy salon in one of Chicago’s most intimate spaces. Sample fine wines and cocktails, enjoy glamorous queer burlesque, revel in the beauty of Andersonville’s hidden gem, and support lesbian-owned businesses.

This month stars: Bizarre Sally, Siren Jinx, Kitty Victorian, Jolie and (Thanksgiving Weekend) Holly Peno from Miami, FL!

Starring Delilah from San Francisco, Photo by Von Spahn

Le Cabaret Erotique
Saturday, November 14, 10:30 pm
Uncommon Ground
1401 W. Devon
$15 suggested donation
(Nobody turned away for lack of funds)
Dinner reservations guarantee seating: 773-465-9801

Starring: All the way from San Francisco: Delilah! (Photo at left; Credit: Von Spahn)

Starring: Plucky Rosenthal, Honey La Fleur, Dolls of Doom (Lola Martinet and Tila von Twirl), The Puterbaugh Sisters, Candy Land and hosted by yours truly!

Come and watch Girlie-Q do “classic with a twist” in the prettiest and classiest room in town. Featuring Chicago’s queerest cast of burlesque hotties, a unique variety of acts, and a carefully curated show, you will be dazzled, enchanted, and definitely entertained.

(even yet still more) Guilty Pleasures
Saturday, November 21,
Doors at 7, show at 7:30
Mary’s Attic, 5400 N. Clark @ Balmoral
Tickets, $10 in advance, $15 at the door. Buy tickets here.

Special offer for our fans: $2 off if you buy in advance with the code: xoxmsbeahaven!

We are totally thrilled & pleased as punch to announce the return of our monthly neo-burlesque and variety show, at the adorable Mary’s Attic! This month, we are revisiting Guilty Pleasures, music we’re embarrassed to admit that we love, with a lot of familiar faces and a bunch of brand new burlesquers and variety performances.

Starring: Candyland, Cherish the Burlesque Goddess, Dizzy Lizzy Delicious, Faustina von Feist, Jolie, Justin Syder, Katarina D’Arkham, Noah Hyman, Plucky Rosenthal, The Puterbaugh Sisters, Scarlett D’Evil, Special K, and more!

Join us for special treats (for the audience!), a whole lotta BAD music, and a totally fun and over-the-top campy spectacle for which Girlie-Q is so well known.

Hope to see you soon!

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven
Santa’s Little Helper

Future Dates
11/8, 11/15, 11/22, 11/29 Salon DeVine, Joie de Vine
11/14, La Cabaret Erotique, Uncommon Ground (Devon)
11/21 Guilty Pleasures Show, Mary’s Attic
11/28 – 12/19 Delight Before Christmas, our annual holiday show!
12/11 Ms. Bea Haven performs with High Voltage Burlesque at the Wilmette Theater
1/8, 1/9, 1/15 and 1/16 Ms. Bea Haven & Honey La Fleur perform in Hot N’ Heavy Burlesque Tribute to Pink Floyd’s The Wall

Have a nice weekend, everybody!

It’s been another blockbuster week.  I’ve been so busy–ever since fall hit, I feel like I am rushing from one thing to the next.  The last few days, while busy for sure, have felt very nice because I have had a moment to reconnect with old and new friends.  And it doesn’t show any signs of letting up, either on the social or business tips.  I think I’m just going to be insane until the holidays are over.  (But I have to admit I kind of like a bustling fall.  Crisp air, loads of activities, harvest).  Oh, and I just got booked for a really cool (and high-paying) Halloween show.  I’m super excited about that, even though having my own personal show (I got two offers, but neither one was what I wanted, so I turned them both down) didn’t materialize.

So, the week.  On Monday, I had drinks with my pal Ira, from Being Totally Sweet in Chicago.  I love his blog, because it’s totally what I would write if I were a straight dude who was into bikes and booze.  (Not cheap booze, but kinda high-fallutin’ fancy pantsy liquors.)  As I mentioned a few days ago, we’re also going to some zombie stripper thing next week at the Admiral which I am very jazzed about.  It was totally fun to finally sit down and chat with him and get his advice on a whole host of things.  He also turned me onto his partner’s blog, which I’ve been stalking the last few days.  She writes about food at forkable.com.  It’s really readable, and even though I don’t have the guts to eat some of the stuff she’s writing about (BBQ’d goat, anyone?), it’s totally awesome to read about it and live vicariously through it.

Then on Tuesday, I had a Board Meeting at work.  Not really anything there in the “fun reconnecting” genre, but it’s part of the busy-ness business stuff.

Last night, I went to a marketing/communications/technology meeting for work stuff right after work.  This is, by far, my favorite meeting I attend at my day job.  It’s just a bunch of REALLY smart people (smarter than me by a mile) talking about communications and the internet and how to implement marketing strategy online that is effective, grows audiences, and works.  I love these people–it’s really a great brain trust (a super smart dude from Chicago Now, one from Community Media Workshop, some people who do contract work on programming and social media, a gal who does “human-computer interaction studies”, a few of the web peeps from work, amazing list.)  We had a really positive and helpful meeting and I am going to meet with a few people in the next few weeks and chat more.

After that, I went out for drinks with Special Lady T and my dear old pals Bonnie and Cat.  It was lovely to see them–we so rarely get together, it was a special treat.  They have a really nice way about them and unlike most couples, I love them both together and each separately.

So this weekend will ALSO be busy–We’re doing a massive photo shoot with our pals at Oomphotography for an upcoming show, I have my beginner class on Saturday (there were a half-dozen gals there last week!  Yeah!) and we have two shows–Come on out and see us at Uncommon Ground on Saturday night at 11:30 (suggested donation, call for reservations) and at Joie de Vine every Sunday (for our Salon DeVine, which is always free!).

OK, I need to jump now.  Hope to see you this weekend, Kittens!

xox, Ms. Bea Haven