Yesterday Afternoon (Gross Story-Sorry!)
So yesterday afternoon, I headed to my doctor’s office for a check-up. Regular lady visit and all.
Anyway, my doc is near Water Tower Place–which in case you’re not from Chicago, is a giant mall at the top of Michigan Avenue. It’s been there forEVer and I used to go there when I was a teen and drool over all the Le Sportsac purses there, because there was a Le Sportsac store there in the 80’s. (There was also a Rizzoli bookstore there, as well. I used to go and drool over the giant expensive art books there, as well.)
So, I decide that I’m going to go visit one of my former students (and current performers. I won’t say who, so as to discourage stalkers) and I head into the giant makeup store there, which is where she works. I head in, examine all of the products from Make Up For Ever (OMG. Must. Buy. Everything. They. Make.), pick up a pair of eyelashes–she was not working and I had not a huge budget, so I moved along–and then decide to head upstairs, because I couldn’t remember whether or not Water Tower was the place with the Max Studio store–it was not.
On the way, I remember the populations of people I try to avoid in downtown Chicago: Tourists, pre-teens with money, teens with money, and people from the suburbs. They just don’t move quickly enough for this big City girl.
I pop off the elevator and there’s one of those hot pretzel places at the top. I’m like, “Yum!” So I order a pretzel, because it’s going to be a while before my date with T. Procure pretzel and head back down escalators.
Oh my god then it all goes wrong. I get VERY nauseated and almost throw up. Seriously, I had to run across the mall at top speed to the bathroom and gag into le toilet. It was sudden, violent, and frightening. One second you’re eating a pretzel, then the next, HRLLLLACCCK.
Needless to say, I threw the remaining pretzel out and jumped on the bus and went home. Yuck.
Helpful Hint: Don’t buy hot pretzels at the mall. In fact, don’t even go to the mall. It will make you ill.





